The White Dwarf

The second star to the right shines in the night for you, Peter Pan says.

That was how it was with the White Dwarf star;

It was bright, it was white, it was dazzling;

It crystalized at its own pace with the Galaxy supporting it;

It ran around in the darkness, lighting up every part of space it met;

It was admired, it was looked upon, it served according to its purpose.

 

I was that star, I was the White Dwarf;

Brighter than the sun, whiter than snow,

I was beautiful;

I burnt freely with the likes of me,

They admired and wondered how;

I was proud,

 

Then I came across the empty, yet so alluring Black Hole.

With its strong gravitational field, the Black Hole slowly sucked me in;

The magnetic field inside of us instantly connected;

It was hypnotizing, it was captivating, it brought me to life;

The Galaxy was stunned but eventually clapped in glee;

We were mad, the Black Hole and I.

 

Lights passed and the temperature boiled;

It was a lot, how could I manage this?

I thought this was freedom?

But I stayed;

It was my consequence, I told myself, I chose this;

It would pass, I told myself.

 

The Galaxy frowned slightly as doubt gradually crept up on it;

I’m afraid I would be right, it muttered, you should not have happened,

It is catastrophic, it is chaotic, it is disastrous

Yes, it changed my orbit but I was utterly fine with it;

I felt even freer than I had ever before;

It was too comfortable there, too pleasant, that I lost my purpose as a star.

 

Lights travelled more and the temperature froze

What happened? Was it just a mere sweet illusion?

I was terrified,

But I stayed;

Even though it was so dark, so cold,

It was my fault, I told myself, blame me.

 

As the words of “the worst is over” kept replaying on my mind

The Galaxy screamed, begging me to disintegrate the bond,

But I couldn’t, it was so, so hard, it was impossible;

I was already ruined, my very own orbit was shattered;

I was milking this poison, always hungry for more

And the pleasure, oh the pleasure, I whimpered as I dimmed.

 

It’s time, the Galaxy demanded;

It was a choice, I had to make a choice

To collide or to burn,

To grief or to weep

Let it go, it repeated;

I was loose, for now. 

 

I failed, my electrons were too used to being involved with the Black Hole’s;

I couldn’t be excluded now,

I was trapped, my soul was perfectly and completely lost;

I couldn’t do it alone,

I relapsed, the pull from the Black Hole was like the love of Romeo and Juliet;

I couldn’t survive without it.

 

I was recklessly bound to it, once again;

Realization hit me as the cycle repeated;

I was a foolish star,

I had depended on a monster,

I was addicted to drowning,

And always homesick for the pain.

 

The Black Hole and I, we don’t fit;

We are destined to fall into pieces;

We only cause each other a series of constant train wrecks

While we keep waiting for the other party to surrender first;

We are thrilling and exotic,

Yet dangerous and destructive at the same time.

 

The Galaxy might tell that it is not freedom;

It is right, it isn’t, and I am utterly fine with it;

I know the chain will always be there to tie me,

It will not let me free,

It will make me its prisoner,

And I love it.

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