Tears and Epiphany

Are your eyes alright?

You promised me you won’t stare at the screen for too long

How are your shoulders? Still in pain because of your late nights?

Let me rest please, you’ve overworked me for too long

 

Your scars are itching again

Haven’t you promised me to stop drawing things on your wrist?

 

People use you as a projector to their own movie

But you know you’re not a blank canvas

Tear that wallpaper down, your walls are leaking from the rain

I told you t get a new paint, or rebuild a new one

When are you going to fulfil at least one?

 

Let me breathe for a second, and let us reflect

How far have you become

Maybe then you’ll listen

 

Did it hurt when your moon becomes your devil?

The one who’s supposed to light your way through the dark

Turned out to become the darkness itself

 

Did it hurt when the sun burns you?

When you expected him to provide you with warmth

So in turn you ran away from it and build a new fire yourself

 

Did it hurt when the river almost drowned you?

When you came to quench your thirst

It took the air from you instead

 

It must hurt when the air made you inhale the smoke

When it’s the only thing you thought were free 

When you thought it’s the only freedom you can see

 

You plead for the earth to swallow you

You plead for the sky to fall on you

Yet the sun, the moon, the air, and the river, laughed at you for it

 

The earth is dead. The sky doesn’t care

You’re left alone with a broken leg and weak hands

Wandering the dry dessert waiting to die out of anything

 

You couldn’t speak when the moon claims your submission

Making you kiss her feet 

Reminding you of your disgusting self

 

You were humiliated when the sun silenced your feelings

Forcing you to swallow your intelligence

Reminding you of your lowly caste

 

The world declares that you are loved by them more than you deserved

Then if this is too much

I didn’t deserve any at all

 

Three July-s did it took for you to switch off

You ran away, you died

Your brain and heart were as empty as can be

You became one with the rats and the thieves

 

Three September-s you became a slave

A dancing clown to a decent master

At least you had value to someone, you thought

At least you’re not wasting the time of one tree 

 

Remember when those seven stars came?

Remember how you had dismissed them during your enslaved days?

When your shift was done, you took time to see the sky

Took you seven stars to realize

How much blood had you shed during those Septembers and Julies 

 

They provided you with light that was supposed to be given by your moon

They gave you the warmth that was to be given by your sun

Their further than both, unreachable almost

Yet somehow they shone your blinded eyes, and warm your breaking toes

 

Now my eyes are open

The sun that I thought was the sun, was a stove

The moon was a lamp

The river’s just a bathtub

And those stars are crystals

From which I can see myself 

 

I wasn’t as hideous as my old master told me

I wasn’t as evil as the elements had told me

I wasn’t the only one screaming to the earth to swallow me

 

The sky wasn’t ignoring me after all

He gave me those crystals to reflect on myself

To tell me what I’ve been dismissing

Who I’ve been abandoning

 

You’ve tortured her for too long

You won’t be able to see the light without your shadow, right?

Then why did you tape her mouth, and tied her hands ro her back?

She might be greedy, and selfish, and slow

But she is yours, and she brought you to where you are

If she isn’t greedy, you won’t break your bone for those trophies

If she isn’t selfish, you won’t ever be awake by your privileges

If she isn’t slow, you will never run to your destination

 

Why did you treat your persona as your only favorite?

She’s just a mask, a doll, you know that more than I do

What’s so special about your persona? Your favorite born, your facade

You took care of her before you even took care of yourself

You want people to see you as a savior more than to save yourself

You want people to see you as strong rather than to be one

She’s a facade. She changes through seasons

Why did you care for her too much

 

Why did it took you so long to accept me?

Your ego. Your SELF

I’ve missed you since you’ve left me

I’ve waited for you for so long

To the point that I’ve matured without you

 

I plead you. Love me. Love us

Love the three of us.

For you are us and we are you

You cannot escape us and we cannot escape you

Accept us, and we will nurture you

 

Are your eyes alright?

You promised me you won’t stare at the screen for too long

How are your shoulders? Still in pain because of your late nights?

 

People use you as a projector to their own movie

But you know you’re not a blank canvas

You have colors, you have paintings, you have lyrics

Show them. Be proud of them.

As how I am proud of you.

I love you. Not much for now

But I promise my love will grow
You don’t have to love me now

I’m more than happy to know that you’re willing to learn how to

I’ll be there for you as we learn together

You’re beautiful. Not perfect, but enough

I love you

 

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