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Acceptance

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It was a very peaceful Sunday. I spent my time in a cozy cafe reading my favorite novel.

The novel depicts the high school romance of two young people. The lovely story begins with the boy confessing his feelings for the girl. He admitted that he had been watching and liking the girl for a long time but had only recently had the courage to tell her. And only through chat—what a ridiculous way, isn’t it? Initially, the girl does not feel the same way. She simply acknowledges the boy’s feelings by saying “thank you” for his bravery in expressing love. However, as time passes, the girl develops feelings for the boy. These two young people appear to be compatible with one another. The more they meet, the stronger their love grows. Such a cliché love story!

Everything appears just fine until the boy ends his relationship with the girl. Before they even had the chance to make it! The girl agrees with the boy’s decision because the reason for their separation is reasonable. By this, readers may conclude that the girl will no longer love or even hate the boy due to their breakup. In fact, the girl fell more deeply in love with the boy. She is madly in love with the boy. Meanwhile, there is also another surprising fact–the boy abruptly vanishes from the girl’s sight. What a tragic love story, when the girl has already fallen too deep, the person being loved has vanished from view. 

I stopped for a moment. I looked at the surroundings. I felt like someone was watching me, but I didn’t find anyone. Everyone seemed to be busy with their conversation or their own thoughts. Huh, maybe that’s just my random thought.

The following story demonstrates that the girl’s wait was not in vain. Even though he had been missing for a year, the boy had finally reappeared in her sight. They re-establish their relationship as if they have forgotten the reason for their separation. I already have the impression that the girl is deeply in love, whereas the boy is unlikely. I know this because, during the man’s disappearance, the girl was busy admiring God’s creation in the form of the man. Okay, this may sound like an obsession. But believe me, the girl loves the guy more than anyone else. They had a relationship as if they had just met after being separated for millions of years. The girl’s feelings of love are growing stronger than ever. They began dating frequently.

Everything is perfect until they have to part ways, again. Imagine being the girl, who was already overjoyed because her love had returned, but now, she has to let her love go. And it happens twice! However, the girl’s heart was filled with hatred rather than love this time. Reconnecting with people who have abandoned you in the past sometimes only leaves you with deep wounds. The story, which I thought was lovely, ends with many tears in the girl’s eyes. Whether by chance or God’s protection, the boy suddenly ends the relationship, via letter, on the day the girl feels very tired of the relationship. Despite being tired and resentful of the relationship, the girl continues to cry in the days following the breakup. The girl has been lamenting her love story for a week or so. Fortunately, she still has a large number of friends who are willing to listen to her story. She has people who want to convince her that she is still worthy. She doesn’t have to feel guilty about everything that happened. In the end, the girl concludes, “don’t be afraid of losing people; be afraid of losing yourself while trying not to lose someone else.”

I inhaled deeply. It was indeed a complicated love story. They all seemed like memories that shouldn’t be repeated. Then I wrapped my arms around my favorite book and closed the red back cover. Luckily, even though I wrote it a few years ago, I can still read it. It was a really exhausting novel.

The handsome man’s face was adorned with a smile. He was relieved that the girl he watched had matured into a wise woman. He was also proud to have been a part of her historical memory. The boy then stood there, clutching the red-bound novel he had just purchased.

As painful as it may sound, I’m much more accepting of myself now. Because, in the end, all we can do is just accept our fate, because our lives must go on. 

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