a letter to boyfriend

to the person whom i love deeply,

this one’s for you.


i haven’t written you a letter for ages when i actually always have something to say to you. trust me, i always do.

i will never forget the days on which you comforted me, when the world didn’t even want to face me, when i was alone, clueless, and scared. you were always there to give me hugs. a single hug from you eases the burdens. 

you keep me going.

you always say things are going to be okay and as much as i don’t wanna easily believe that, since there would be a process to go through, you always find a way to reassure me again and over again. you believe that i can go through everything when sometimes, i don’t believe it myself.

to the person whom my grandmother always asks me about, thank you for treating me right that it makes me feel safe around you. i have my heart broken a lot by reading people’s experiences on twitter of how their man doesn’t treat them right. those people deserve better. some men are indeed trash. very trashy and in a way disgustingly scary. i feel scared. well, who doesn’t anyway, thinking of, what if that happens to me. the violence, the harassment. i feel safe around you, thank you.

you make me feel comfortable with my own decisions. you support me in every step of the way that i take. you let me do things. you let me grow. in fact, you also water me. because you are optimistic that i will bloom someday and it will make you happy. 

to the person whom i want to raise a hundred of cats with, i wish you nothing but happiness and love as much as your heart can handle. you have no idea how much you make me feel loved, wanted, and worthy of love. you’ve also been here during my ups and downs. you literally keep me sane.

thank you for always choosing to see the best in me, even when i show you the worst of me. frankly, i don’t even know what have i done in my previous life to deserve you. thank you for accepting me as a whole, which means accepting my mistakes which i still can’t tolerate sometimes. thank you, i can’t emphasize enough of how thankful i am to have you in my life. i am sorry for all mistakes and the wrongs, you always encourage me to realize what’s right.

to the person who helps me to be who i am today, thank you so much. i am grateful we are here in the world at the same time and met each other. here is the most sincere confession ever; i love you. i value, respect, and appreciate you so much, not only as a boyfriend, but also a best friend. we make a cute pair, don’t you think so? 

to the person whose soul is the most beautiful, the future is uncertain but i know for sure that you are someone whom i want to spend the rest of my life with. let’s make everything work. storms will come but inspired by fathia izzati’s poetry, i hope we can dance in the thunderstorm. let’s continue watering each other and see how we grow as individuals and together. last, a request.  let me make it less-demanding though i demand it so much that i want you to stick around with me because let me tell you this, you are the permanent resident in my heart, rent free. i completely don’t mind. in fact, i am the happiest. 


girlfriend, rere.

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